Wow - a key logger: it must be love... !

thing is I don't think I can feel love like I used too when I was an AFC simply because I'm so paranoid that I'm always holding back.

Thing is she's perfect for me but I keep having doubts like when I see a bird with a nice ass and I'm thinking I'll be missing out, but I'll also be missing out on having a family with the best girl I know. I don't think I've met a girl so good natured and sweet.

the thing about using her as a tool is what makes this so difficult I wish I had a load of cash then I could make the decisioned properly without that coming into it.

I don't know what love is.

on the job front I heard from someone getting qualified in plumbing over there (once a citizen) is easy but you have to do the test every year to get a licence.

Unfortunately Pal you truly learn what love is when it walks away from you. or when you are in the darkest hole and somones there to pull you out of it.

You realise they are such an amazing part of you that you will never be the same without them, and its not somthing that comes from being Weak.

Chops. Don't learn the lesson some of the more experienced guys here have learned the hard way.

Too many people realise only too late just how much they care... Right after it's slipped away. It can take years to get over it and years again to teach yourself to stop comparing others to that one you loved so much.

I don't know trouble is I realised people are full of shit. I knew this before but the urge to get laid seemed to override this.

also my mum and dad broke up wen I was young and my mum would slag him off all the time even though he's actually an all right bloke. I imagine that's had an effect on me.

I'm more scared of everything going wrong and her turning into a cunt later on. If she stays as she is it should be fine.

or me cheating on her and then feeling guilty. I know I should be able to keep faithful but i've never been committed before cos I've either not been getting laid or been a player.

plus there was this one time wen I was younger wen a girl liked me and wen I danced with another girl at a disco (if you're under 18 it's a disco) and she made a big scene saying she was gonna commit suicide and it was all my fault. now come to think of it I feel sorry for the girl whos party it was cos she totally ruined it by being selfish funny how I didn't think this until now.

I'm so glad I can talk about it here people in the real world have really crap advice.

Technically the advice here has still been "follow your heart", "only you can really choose".

We all just went a little more into the details of why that's the right advice.

If you go over there you need to start formulating a plan to actually be able to provide into the realationship from a financial point of view, plus if you are out there with no money depending on her it will cause massive strain on the relationship both on her and in your own head.

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Chops,
Here's my story. I won a scholarship from the Malaysian government after I completed my A-Levels. Went to university in Manchester and graduated in 1994 after completing my Msc. I was on a student visa. Managed to work as a research assistant for another 3 years using the same visa.

Met my ex-wife through her brother when she moved up to Manchester from London in 1996. We been going out for a year when my visa was running out. The thing was I loved her, she was my best friend and she was/is the most beautiful girl (HB10, easy). I didnt want to lose her and she felt the same way. I was 27 and she was 22. She was too young to get married (maybe), But either that or I would leave England and go back to Malaysia with better prospect, better lifestyle, high flying job waiting for me. Or get married with whatever money we had then (£3k), no job until I received my permanent residency (6 months wait), objections from her dad, the future was bleak. We chose the later. We got married, she got a job earning 10k a year and supported me for 6 months, life was hard, we were skint. But after 6 months, I landed myself a great job, we bought a place together, she stopped working when the first kid came along and never worked again since. We were married for 10 years until she decided she didnt love me anymore (another story altogether).

Did I regret getting married and stayed here? No fucking way. I have 3 wonderful, gorgeous and perfect kids. My life is brilliant. Would I do it again if I meet the right girl? Yes, absolutely. Take it what you want from my story but a nice girl is hard to come by (granted we got divorced but she is the best mom for my kids). Im still looking for the same girl that I fell in love with 14 years ago. This girl could be the one for you. Dont live in regret and only you can make that choice. If I were in your shoes, I know exactly what I would do. Good luck fella!