Jay might reply with a one sentence answer

He didn't mention anything to do with changing anything. The entire point is that he wants to keep the relationship as it is, in order to keep the relationship as it is they need to be within reach of each other and this is how he reasons keeping that.

Electrodes? What exactly is wrong with wanting to hold onto a relationship with someone he cares about? If marriage is the means to that end then so be it - provided she's also in on that. If in fact marriage is something he genuinely wants with her for all the reasons that come from those that advocate it then so be it also. Neither you nor me can predict his future happiness or unhappiness as a result of the choice he has so we're really not in any position to say what's right or wrong. All we could do is judge based on what we're told whether any information we're given is a potential red flag or not. I'm pretty sure Chops actually has the inner means and intelligence to do that himself anyway though.

Thusly the only reason you are here chops is because the inability to predict the future is FUCKING SCARY. You're here seeking confidence because the reality is that you already know what you want, you want to go after her, not knowing what that holds scares you. It would scare me. Put it this way, make a decision based on how much it will hurt you NOW opposed to how much you might or might not be hurt through difficulties you can't predict. What will hurt more? Not continuing the relationship or moving?

Remember, moving there does not mean you can never move back. The decision is not necessarily permanent in the event of everything going to shit anyway - though that is not the thinking of someone who is 100% committed to making it work.

You might also place this into the context of approach anxiety, inaction guarantees a certain outcome. Action has possibility.

yea she suggested we get married.

I was hoping you'd comment RLA cos I thought you'd have what I need.

I think I should reflect on this.

I do want to be with her cos all the other birds are crap they just wanna fuck about trying to get little ego boosts.

I think for the first time I've met a girl who genuinely cares about me.

do it. you only live once, take a risk and follow your heart. toss out all this pua bullshit because its served its purpose for now.

this is one of those oppurtunities i just know i'd regret in a years or 5 years time.

Chops as K and a few others say, only you can decide whether it's worth it, though if you truely want to be with her whats the problem with a few tight months and maybe having to be a kept husband for a bit, though imo if people really want to work you'll find it, bars, shops, restaurants etc.

As for not being happy in your current town etc. theres a great story/fable:
A man lives in a village and stranger says to him one day "wow! this is a really nice village, I'm thingking of moving here, what's it like?"
The man replies "Well whats it like where you're from?"
The stranger says "the people are 2-faced, nothing ever happens and there are no opportunities"
The man says "It's the same here"
A month or so later another stranger is looking around the village and asks the man "This seems like a nice village, I'd like to move here, what's it like?"
The man replies "Well whats it like where you're from?"
The stranger says "It's quite nice, everybody is friendly, we have fun with the neighbours, and you can always do things"
The man says "It's the same here"

ok this is a subject massively close to my heart at the moment.
before i joined this forum a year ago i had a relationship with a girl i met on a stag do in Kiev, Ukraine. - essentially i stayed there for a week after my friends left. we chatted loads via skype and i arranged a tourist visa for her to come stay with me for a couple of weeks.
had a fantastic time -- had a couple of misunderstandings due to cultural differences. Ie in their culture unless you ahve asked them to marry you, they carry on dating other people (that was hard to get my head around)

anyway......... since then ive dated loooooooaaaaaaaaads of chicks and everyone ive met i think ..shes nothing compared to tatiana

so im going back over there in 2 months and we are going to chat about the future and if i feel like it i`ll probably ask her to marry me!
before you say-- she would not marry me for a passport into this country-- she has a city centre apartment in kiev, one of the best jobs you can get-- if anything coming to live in the uk would be a big risk for her.



so basically chops my point is:

are you looking at marrying and going to America because you are unhappy with how your life is and feel it could be an amazing journey and she is just a tool for that to happen

or do you think you could really love her and have a serious relationship?

you need to get that clear in your head before you think about anything.
if you do indeed love her, how do you think you will feel when she leaves and you dont see her again?

Reflex, good luck dude. Living with regret is crap, get on that plane, see her, hang out, then have that chat!

I second the idea that shagging around makes u more easily recognise what u want (and don't want) from a long term partner, as who u think of as an awesome woman can so easily be compared in your head to the personal reference points of your previous women, and chemistry between u and each them. Therefore, sometimes u just know: a conclusion of wow, she's awesome.

I always swore i would never live my life with the regret of not doing somthing i wanted because i was afraid.
Im quite an instinctual type of person and if it feels right, im there!

I've done the eastern european thing hard core, spend a lot of time wife hunting over there a few years ago. Ironically enough when I started dating in the UK again I ended up meeting a russian. Russian/Ukraine birds are the best shags on earth by a clear mile (as youve no doubt discovered) and never go outdoors without making sure they look like a vogue cover model but they can also be quite ruthless and are consummate liars. In these countries lies and deception (towards non-family members at least) simply don't have the same stigma attached to them as they do in western cultures.

Also like Russia, Ukraine is a "divorce culture". This is good balanced view ...
Dating, sex, and marriage advice for western men seeking Russian women --- Russia, Russian, women, marriage, dating, sex, sex life, wife, ideal wife, love, single, sociology, sociologist, gender disbalance, social norms, fragmentation, alienation, se

I would suggest you give your girl the "acid test" which is to express an interest in living with her in kiev, then will soon find out where her true motivation lies.

Oh and if you get the chance, hack into her email (using a key logger or something) yeah yeah I know its nasty but it could save you a world of grief. You just cant trust your instincts with these girls like you can western ones, they are just too good at it.

Having said all that though I cant see any big red flags from anything you've said though, just be careful.

Yes boy do i fucking know this to be true


yes i was shocked there at the corruption in this country, but once you are used to it as a way of life its quite interesting

yes this is a good idea- i suggested this before and she is happy for me to live in kiev with her, she would prefer it because she has a very very good job there.