Hey kowalski,
okay:


I mean, I never seem to start shit, because I am afraid, that maybe I get negative reactions and even though I work on it, I seem to still be afraid, it feels unnatural, being uptight.

That means that when another person starts laughing all the time while we are in a place where you supposed to be quiet for a (short time), then the whole group would laugh, even me. Other people would look at us like: idiots or be quiet.. or something. But it would be okay, since its just having fun and you see this behavior everywhere.

I'm never the one who "starts" talking loud or laughing loud tho, if our group is laughing, yeah I laugh too since I'm not the only one and I didn't start, even if we're supposed to be quiet in the library, but being the first one to start is hard.

Examples:

I feel like these people, who "sometimes", to some degree act like this, are the same people, who make new friends faster or don't seem as boring.
Every person who is social seems to have this behavior, not in an extreme way, but if this person is not considered "boring" to be alone with, they have it.

The same people who climb a tree just for lol, play a awkward game in public or say to a black girl in social circle which they just met, when their white, that she is their black sister or something, while I stand right beside them, showing me interested in her just how dale.C wrote in his book, to make friends.

When we meet the black girl again, she will remember my friend, her friends will remember my friend and I'll seem as boring/normal I guess, even though she could also get mad that he said this if she is conserative and so on. While they talk normally with me, they will act more playful with him and will be normal friendly with me, but not seem interested in me.

Not sure if my examples were good.