Sorry to disappoint you, but there is no quick fix for this. It sounds like you're a decent bloke with good intentions but there are a lot of things you need to learn about being social. Usually, university is where you can learn them but it's not easy and you shouldn't beat yourself down about it. I've got a couple of points I can add here...

• The first thing I would say is to forget about pickup for the time-being. You clearly need to work on making yourself into someone you respect and girls will only get in the way of that. That is to say you should concentrate on being nice, fun and sociable with them rather than ignore them altogether.
• You take yourself too seriously. Someone announcing that you're "the shy one" should not get you riled and the fact that it pisses you off only goes to show how uncomfortable you are with yourself. Next time he does it you just need to speak to whoever he's introducing you to and go "yeah I'm the shy one" (without any sarcasm or negativity and with a big smile on your face), shake their hand and say "nice to meet you."
• Show an interest in people. One of the biggest ah-ha moments for me was when I worked out how to have a normal conversation (I was also very socially awkward growing up). If people are branding you shy and your internal dialogue is going "I'm boring. Why does no-one talk to me? Why does no-one listen to me?" then I'm willing to bet that you are too busy ragging on yourself to care about anyone else or what they're doing or thinking. If you just stand there and expect other people to make the effort then you're gonna be waiting a long time. All you have to do is ask questions! Ask ask ask. Be interested. Tell yourself that "people are interesting and I want to find out as much about them as I can."
• Buy How To Win Friends And Influence People. It's a manual on how to be a decent human being.
• Buy Instant Confidence by Paul McKenna. It will teach you to stop having a go at yourself all the time.

In short, stop putting yourself down and start being interested in people, and buy whichever self-help books you need to get you there.